Young love

I recall when I was at hairdressing college (go on - ask me anything about disulfide linkages) and pocket electronic calculators had just come on the scene. We had to do some maths (it's not all Hello magazines and ground coffee you know) and we were allowed to use these new marvels of miniaturization so long as we wrote PEC by the answer to signify we'd used a calculator. There were some thickos in that class. I remember one girl - Tabatha Speakermesh - she always wrote buggered PEC  next to her answers.  Still, it's good to know youngsters can be just as thick nowadays: 

Dear Doreen,

Down where I live there is a girl that I like. I did a love calculator and it came up 95%. How do I show her that we're made for each other? I told her I’m a hang glider pilot because I thought she’d be impressed but she just laughed. Where did I go wrong?

Cheers, Jake Mechanism

Dear Jake

Oh dear. Oh deary deary me. Love calculator… hang glider…Tell her you meant paraglider pilot and that you have an ipod touch, you dinosaur! You still won’t get anywhere but at least she’ll know what you are talking about. Thanks for the laugh.

I hope this helps, Doreen.