Roger Roger

I had a weird phone conversation today with my pal Dawn Shuntwound. It went like this: 

Hello Dawn, It's Doreen.
Hi Doreen!
I've had a letter from Roger today. I didn't know he had a degree in health and safety.
He doesn't.
Well that's how he's...
Ah! That's probably Roger's brother Roger.
Roger's what?
Roger's brother... they are both called Roger. Roger - my Roger - is Roger Robert. His Brother is Roger Roderick. Roger's parents were very keen on the name Roger. I think there was a famous Roger about at the time they were born. They are very close. 
Roger Bannister maybe? Can't think of any others. That's a bit odd... In fact Roger Roderick seems a bit odd too, judging by his letter.
Well, so is my Roger. They had odd parents. 
That seems obvious. But Roger Roderick is married to Dawn!  
I know... Silly isn't it? He married a Dawn too. Just by chance. 
How odd... Anyway I must dash. See you at the usual place tomorrow? Roger Moore perhaps? No... Too young.
 Okay. About 11? Bye Doreen dear. See you then. Byeeee!
Hey! Roger Delgado - I bet that was it! Bye.
Byeee! 

Anyhow, here's the offending letter: 

Dear Doreen
I am a Health and Safety Inspector  (B Doc Brum (Hons)) (for my sins!!). The other day I was taking a walk with my (good) (lady) wife (Dawn) on the (magnificent) Malvern Hills when I came across a bunch of people playing with what looked like (gigantic) kites. On closer inspection they revealed themselves to be what I think are known as parafidgets. I was astounded to discover that they had no (government issued) license of any kind and (furthermore,) intended to throw themselves of a (perfectly safe) hillside in an attempt to fly (these contraptions)! I decided to quiz one of these madmen, as their general demeanour seemed to suggest (a certain) recklessness. It transpired that not one of them had undertaken a proper (if any) risk assessment and that they mostly made it up as they went along. Also, not one of them had any sort of radar identity (transmitter) on them, which in my book is just asking for a mid-air collision with a (Jumbo) jet. When I asked him if he had a mission statement he just shouted "To infinity and  beyond!" and ran down the hill. Should I write to my (local) MP (about this)?

Yours in good faith, Roger Shuntwound (B Doc Brum (Hons))


Dear Roger
It appears (from this distance) that you have an over-developed risk gland. The condition which (I understand) is called Banalus Dedicatus, can be easily treated by your (local) GP. Combine this with a course of letter writing  to any MP willing to listen as this will help relieve stress.
I hope this helps, Doreen