Film buff

I was up bright and early this morning in order to get on top of my ironing. I was just finishing off the pile of tights when I got a phone call from my photographer friend, Richard. He wanted to know if I'd had any experience with the local cinema as there's a new film coming out called Rio that apparently involves some hang gliding. I told him that I'd had plenty of memorable experiences in many cinemas both local and distant but couldn't see the relevance to any hang gliding apart from going prone a few times. He mumbled something about bad publicity and hung up - I never quite know what he's on about. I'll have to chase him for more details.
Just as I put the phone down I thought I detected our postman Jeremy with some letters. Then I distinctly heard him drop one in the porch - he's no manners that boy - so I sauntered downstairs to see what he'd delivered. Amongst the usual Boden catalogues and car maintenance class fliers was, funnily enough, a letter from a worried hang glider pilot tentatively involved in filming:

Dear Doreen
I have recently been approached by a small film company. They told me they are looking for a young man who is willing to risk all for fame and fortune. They want me to fly into a lake at 50 mph - or more if I can manage it - but with no clothes on. Should I wear a life jacket do you think?
Yours, Kenton Dyeworker


Dear Kenton,
I think you should risk less than all. Posthumous fame is so overrated. Tell them to go jump in a lake and you'll throw in a hang glider.
I hope this helps, Doreen.